The one thing I didn't want to talk about during this adoption process,
The one dark and scary place where I felt completely inadequate,
The one area where I felt so small and powerless,
Is the one item I needed to tackle this weekend.
Finances - what is our worth in dollars signs and decimal points???
On Friday, I started the process. I dug up and calculated all our known assets, minus the house we're selling at a loss. The grand total? Much less than we were supposed to have. Feeling defeated I emailed our wonderful worker and told her we had come to the end of the road ... already. Bless her heart, she emailed back and reminded me to check in all the little corners. "You might be worth more than you think," she hinted. I thought, a bit sarcastically, "We might be worth much less than YOU think!"
But I did put the matter before God in prayer. If it's Your will, Lord ...
Saturday night an idea popped into my head. I pursued it. It worked. Hallelujah! Sunday morning brought another idea. That also materialized. Then another thought came. And that also added to our growing list of assets.
Finally, I did the math. My heart rate increased as I feverishly added up one column of numbers and subtracted the other column until, suddenly, there. it. was.
In dollars and cents.
We were more than qualified!!! Not by a whole lot, but there was definitely a cushion. All I could do was throw up my hands and say, "God, YOU are amazing!!!"
I wish I could share in more detail how this all worked out, because it is truly incredible, but these are our finances after all and this is a very public internet. But I do want to encourage anyone who is discouraged by the financial part of adoption, that with God NOTHING is impossible. Go forward. Like me, you'll discover that God is the best asset you can have!