I had called my three youngest girls' birthmom. We are jointly planning Maya's upcoming birthday party and I wanted to fill her in on some of my plans. As it turned out, she wasn't home, but her dad was.
I've met him twice. A kind and pleasant man, he carries his sorrows quietly, close to his heart.
After telling me how I could get a hold of her, he paused a moment and said, "Thank you for what you are doing for the girls. It's wonderful. Every night, I pray for you..."
Every night, I pray for you...
Those words stopped me in my tracks and have been echoing in my mind ever since I hung up the phone.
Every night, I pray for you...
I am raising his granddaughters--granddaughters he didn't get to see for four years while they were in foster care and probably never would have had we not agreed to an open adoption. Oh, what a struggle that decision was!
I fought. I fumed. I argued with God and gave Him all the good reasons why we shouldn't. I threw pity parties for myself. I stomped my feet. "I WANT TO BE THEIR MOMMY!!!!" I cried.
Finally, after much patient convincing from God, I relented, opened my heart, and allowed Him to work miracles. It wasn't long before I began to realize that adoption doesn't have to mean the ending of one family so another can begin. Under God's guidance, it can be the blending of families so that hearts can heal and God's love can be known. Open adoption can be a beautiful thing.
Every night, I pray for you...
Tonight, I sit here and wonder...
How long has he been praying for me? Was it his prayers for a chance to get to know his granddaughters that God was trying to answer, when I was thinking only of my needs? Was it his prayers for healing for his family, that eventually softened my selfish heart? Was he praying for me when all I was thinking about was ME?
Every night, I pray for you...
Tonight, I started something new. I knelt down and prayed for this dear grandpa. With God's help, from now on...
every night I will pray for him.
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