Tuesday, July 24, 2012

Type A Mom vs. God

I confess...

I am a Type A mom.

I can sort, catalog, itemize, clean, color code, label, file, schedule, and make charts with the best of them.

I can cook, clean, garden, wash the dog, fold laundry, paint, mend, correct papers, and pay bills at lightning speed.

I will even volunteer to scrub toilets, mop up vomit, or clean a poopy diaper in a heartbeat.

The one thing I struggle with ...

The one thing I wrestle with ...

The one area I absolutely fail in ...

Is just.

being.

still.

Seat me on a plane and my carry-on is packed with planning projects for the next six months.

Send me on a car trip and I will either be driving or have a bag tucked at my feet with things to catch up on.

Have me listen to a child read and I will occupy my hands with needlework or a sorting project.

Put me on summer vacation and I launch myself into activity and instantaneously transform into a whirling dervish.

Confine me to bed with an illness and I ... I ... I seriously struggle to maintain my sanity.

And yet, there's a Bible verse that keeps creeping into the back of my mind. I flip to Psalm 46:10 and the counsel there absolutely befuddles me. "Be still, and know that I am God..." Oh, that verse is so hard for me!

I'm a mover. A shaker. An activity maker.

A doer. A planner. A multi-task handler.

I am not one to just be still.

But, that verse is not a quiet suggestion. It is a firm command. And whenever we choose to ignore firm commands we usually end up running headfirst into a consequence.

For me it's been Whooping Cough.

From the end of June up to now I have been coughing, wheezing, gasping for air, and ... I must confess ... spending a whole lotta time being still. I don't have a choice. My body has the energy of a slug on sleeping pills!

I've found myself doing bizarre things like laying on the ground with my girls while gazing up at the clouds.

Or squatting beside our fish pond trying to see how many frogs we can spot.

Or lounging on the couch while one daughter reads a story and the others massage my feet and shoulders.

And the weirdest part of all, is that I'm completely in the moment with them.

Not looking around at all that needs to be done.

Not reaching for the phone to make another business call.

Not stressing over planning out a schedule or menu.

Simply. in. the. moment.

Experts say it takes three weeks to form a new habit.

I've been sick for five.

Think God's trying to teach me something?