"Isn't hosting a waste of money?" someone asked me recently. "I mean, if you were going to adopt, that would be one thing ... you know ... like a life-time investment or something. But hosting is ... well ... temporary."
Questions like these always cause me to react in two ways...
1) white-hot rage
2) complete understanding
Usually my inner being flips the fury switch before the question is even completely out of the asker's mouth and I want to yell, "Waste?! When has rescuing a human life ever been a waste of money?"
Investing thousands of dollars into a one month opportunity may seem completely ludicrous. But, in reality, it's almost as ludicrous as, say, saving thousands of dollars and then spending it all on a cruise or a vacation -- something just as temporary, right?
Think about it. If I were to spend $11,000 on a vacation, many people would congratulate me, tell me to have a great time, and expect a souvenir when I returned. End of story.
But, should I spend $11,000 on hosting a sib-set of orphans for a one month stay so I can tell them about Jesus and show them the love of a family, it is considered a waste. of. money.
And, should I go a step further, and actually invite others to contribute towards this endeavor, I am accused of being completely unrealistic.
Truthfully, they're right.
And this is where I switch to completely understanding where they are coming from.
I really do understand where their shock and confusion. I work hard for my money, like they do. I have a family to support and bills to pay. I have a budget to stay within.
But, I believe, that sometimes God asks us to step outside of what WE can do so we can see what HE can do.
This sib-set of four was not my first choice. I knew our budget and they didn't fit within it. Period. I was looking at the single kids, with no siblings, and with scholarships already attached. But, God didn't give me peace on any of them. He did, however, give me peace when I finally began praying about this set.
But I am not a faith giant by any stretch of the word.
I get scared when I think about the enormity of what we're getting ourselves into. I tremble when I see how much money we still need to raise. I feel discouraged when I view the rapidly approaching fundraising deadline and hear the incessant ticking of the clock. I toss and turn at night with thoughts of failure dancing like demons around my head. I am human.
It is at those times that I have to fall on my knees and pour out my heart to God and ask Him for strength and courage. Because, by myself I can't do this. I can't. I just can't.
So for those who think I'm wasting money by hosting, I really do understand where you're coming from. I live with that battle in my head everyday.
But, I also am trying to look at it from a different perspective outside of my own -- God's perspective. These are His children. For some reason, He has laid it upon my heart to do something for these four. Why? Because maybe, just maybe, God wants to save them and give them a hope and a future. And, just maybe, He's allowing me to be their voice ... at least for this short moment in their lives.
Because when I look at their picture, I don't think about them being a waste of money, I think about the privilege I have of loving them for this brief moment.